| and you finally found all your courage to let it all go. |
[03 Nov 2004|03:04pm] |
ive been listening to "pictures of you" on repeat for some reason. not for any particular reason because of losing a girl, which the song is about. I dont know its just the best song ever written. before i listened to it because of Holly but its not like that anymore. i dont let that get to me at all and its been like that for quite awhile which im glad cause the worst is never letting go but i did and im proud. im just really happy that i can go to her and hang out and be friends even after how shitty it all ended.
This summer was a huge change in my life. I mean im still the same caring person but i choose to do different things now. I still skate everyday. as a matter of fact i should be in Japan right now with 5boro but since i didnt have a passport in time i couldnt go. Which would of been the best thing to ever happen to me. There is talks of Poland next year so im not gonna miss that. But lately all i have found myself doing is working, skating and dwelling on things. Which sucks. I cant really find myself being happy unless im skating which is a bummer cause i dont skate after work when i get off. Maybe its just this time of year but it still sucks. it sucks looking forward to the weekend to get the hell out of vb cause im almost always out of town. I have no one really to hang with especially a girl but i guess lurking on the internet is better than that, sike. Its weird how the past two months could be some of the raddest times in my life and then it commes to this when i just sit around doing shit. i need to do something rather than just bore my life away. lately i was talkign to this girl who i was interested in and she kept talkign like she was but she seriously had no drive in her. Im almost positive it wasnt me cause she kept saying it and would always seem really interested when we talked but when it came to hanging out she would just flake. its so weird. But i had to get out of it cause it was wasting my time wondering what the hell was going on. she kept saying it was that she was scared of getting her heart broken which in a sense is understandable but she didnt even bother taking a chance. Life is full of chances. how do you know somethign isnt gonna work if you dont try. i sure as hell look at life like that. ive been shitted on by girls and i still find myself looking for that special someone. its worthless not to especially after you think you found a great person like she always claimed i was. she just needs a wake up call and im not gonna wait around for it. anyways i am still suprised that im sitting here typing all this. im out of here. im gonna start doing something with my life when im not skating and thats all there is to it.
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| old post from myspace |
[17 Oct 2004|10:31am] |
5boro Summer tour 2004
Best ten days of my life. skated so many epic places. Saw some of the most amazing skateboarding in my life. Im psyched to be apart of the 5boro fam. Aaron Suski, Brandon Westgate, Falla, Wilkins, Pensyl all fucking killed it. Everyone killed it. Going on tour is what ive always wanted and this shit was the real deal. Patrick O'dell from Thrasher came with us who shoots a lot of the Baker/Emerica crew. And also has one of the most epic tats ive ever seen. GNR. Down in Va we dont get that type of shit. So be on the look out for a 5boro summer tour article in an upcoming Thrasher. PSYCHED. bummed I got hurt a little but I got to skate and watch everyone else fucking murder every place we went to. Some amazing times with some amazing skateboarders/friends.
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| august 04 |
[01 Sep 2004|10:43pm] |
one of the best months of my life
-the cure
- Tour was the best 10 days of my life
- skateboarding (sucks though been kind of hurt)
- Riding my bike to the beach almost every night and hanging at the bars. meeting all sorts of new people.
- girls. girls. girls.
- tour
- NYC
-life itself
- being happy.
that is it period.
Tour was the best thing that has ever happened to me. straight up. 5boro is the best family. Ill be in NYC sept 18-27, and oct. 8-14th. I got my plane ticket yesterday for the first part. I have places to crash but id like to spend my time with gabrielle if possible, cause i want to spend most of my time with her up there when im not skating. anyways life is gonna be hectic for the end of sept and beginning of october. two trips to nyc and a trip to tampa between the 18th of sept and 14th of october. should be super rad. three days in boston. im psyched on life and on skateboarding.
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| AMAZING... |
[07 Aug 2004|11:15pm] |
Well let me first say that the past two/three weeks have been some of the finest times of the summer. and this weekend has been one of the best weekends of my life and ill never ever forget friday AUG. 6th. The night I spend with Robert Smith. Everything has been going so great lately. Ive met a lot of cool and nice people and met some really cute and rad girls as well. I cant go wrong with that at all. Plus ive been hanging out with a lot of my friends more. Me and erin have been hanging a lot which was much needed. 80s night was super fun and I met this rad girl named Amanda from Seattle. Hopefully ill get to hang with her sometime this week. So anyways I had it all planned out this weekend. Me and Erin spend the night watching THE CURE and INTERPOL (CUROSIA FESTIVAL) and many other good bands (Rapture, Muse) in Columbia, MD. Then I have this demo in Lewisburg, PA (omish area) middle of no where. Then tomorrow spend it with my brother and hang cause im crashing with him the whole weekend. Well this is how it ended up.
Erin couldnt get a ride home, so i had to spend the drive to the show solo. Luckly I met up with a good friend from high school, Lindsey Grunwald. she was up there with a few of her friends. I met them all and we went from there. Every person she was with was super nice. Karine, Kevin, Matt and Luke. They bought me food and some drinks. It was fantastic. Well when we showed up Mogwai was playing, good to see them. Then eventually the Rapture played who i might say is extremely rad live. Then after that Interpol came on to completely blow my mind. They played all the songs i really wanted to here. NYC, PDA, Obstactle 2, and three songs from the new album (dont know the titles cause its burnt) was just the favs that they played. i have been listening to that cd on repeat the past two weeks, the same with the new cure cd as well. Definitely amazing live and im psyched cause i just was loving it. Then the Muse played ont the back stage for a good half and hour. Ive never heard them before but im psyched on them. THEN at 9pm, Robert Smith happened to walk out on stage and The Cure started to rock. I felt like a little school boy so excited. Seriously I was soooo excited I had tears in my eyes. The music and the Cure just move me that much. But ive loved the cure for 7 years now I just couldnt get that smile off my face. ON the ride up I listened to the radio station that was doing the show and Robert Smith was doing an interview and taking questions. Plus they played songs in between. I was just so stoked on that. Listening to him and seeing what he had to say about his music, his life, and his fans. He is truly a rad dude and everything he said was completely 100% positive. The dude loves music and everything about it. I mean it just made me respect my favorite dude ever even more. ok so back to the tunes. They came out rocking older jams and it was fantastic. But half way through the set it got soooooooooooooooo Amazing. I will never forget these songs.
-Plainsong, Labyrinth, The Figurehead, From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea, A Night Like This, (I Don't Know What's Going) On, The Walk, Push, Lovesong, InBetween Days, Us Or Them, Closedown, alt.end, A Strange Day, One Hundred Years, Disintegration
1st encore: Close To Me, Lullaby, Lovecats, The End Of The World, Friday I'm In Love , Why Can't I Be You
2nd encore: Just Like Heaven, Boys Don't Cry
amazing. However they didnt play nothing from Wild Mood Swings and Bloodflowers. I was a little bummed on that.They didnt play "Pictures of You" either which is my favorite cure song by far and it is just an amazing song. I called howard during Friday Im in love and he was jamming and I called Erin during the end of the song and Why Cant I be You. I was soo blown away last night. I really hope I get a chance to see them again. But if not I know ill never forget watching Robert Smith and The Cure. He even was dancing which was funny cause he wasnt really moving too much. The crowd was psyched on the dancing. The place was like a huge 80s night of people dancing and singing along. I didnt want to leave.
so onto today: I had to do a 5boro demo in some small town in Penn. It was tiny but the scenery was amazing. Mountains and cliffs of all sorts. there was this little part of a river that had this huge boulder in a perfect square shape. The town or something placed a giant but mini verson of the statue of liberty. It was super rad to see that. Such a rad view of the statue and a huge mountain in the backgroud. SO when i got to the demo, the ramps kind of sucked but the team still skated good. I love the 5boro crew those guys are so rad and so nice. They are the funniest dudes ive ever met for sure. Another fantastic thing:
-The Beastie Boys have their new cd out called "To the 5 Boroughs". So the guys from the Beastie Boys got in touch with 5boro to make a limited skate deck of the cover art for the new album. Only a 100 was made and they arent for sale. They are worth a lot of money because the Beastie Boys dont do promotions with other companies or sponsorships with other companies. So 5boro was the first company EVER to do something with the Beastie Boys supposely. They got in touch with Steve the owner to make the boards. So anyways sitting in my car rihgt now is two of those boards. Im soo stoked that I was able to get my hands on one. Steve told me though that I must skate them and can not sell/give them out and I have to keep a good eye on them cause of how valuable they are. I cant wait to just hang one on my wall for the time being. So that was rad.
Ok so overall so far this weekend has been nothing short of amazing. Last night was the most amazing night of my life. I had perfect lawn seats to see a clear and perfect shot of Robert Smith. I sang loud as shit to every song pretty much. THey played for 2 hours with 2 encores. Plus I was graced with the presence of one of my other favorite bands Interpol. The cure, Radiohead, and Interpol are the favs, If only Radiohead was on the show, I probably would of shit myself in excitement haha. I have two fantastic items to remember this weekend with, huge curiosa BAND LIST poster that i gracefully stole and will be hanging in my room shortly and my Beastie Boys deck. The demo was fun and next week I leave to go on tour for 10 days with all the dudes in the N. East. should be such a rad time. skating and hanging. I cant wait. this last month of summer will be the best ever. including this weekend and the past 2 weeks. I love life. I just need an old lady now and id be complete.
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| hello darkness my old friend. |
[21 Jul 2004|09:25pm] |
well its been quite away. but things have definitely changed i suppose but everythign is going pretty rad. Summer is nothing like it was last year. no hang out sessions. just lots of skate sessions instead for me. Miami for a week was pretty rad. Skating everyday. it was enjoyable definitely. sun was out all day everyday. girls were beautiful and mons was amazing. Ive been working a lot only so i can travel as much as i do. Ill be seeing the CURE in DC on the 6th then doing a 5boro skate demo on the 7th in PA so that weekend is full of trips then i get home for 5 days and them im on tour with 5boro for 10 days. im psyched gonna be amazing. were heading to through the Northeast (West NY, VT, Conn, RI, NH, Mass). stoked. then in the beginning of sept im living in NYC for a month with Gabrielle who i love very much. so life and skateboardign is real good. im riding for etnies now so im stoked on that too. well...
anyways the whole poitn of this journal for right now is to let out something that i never really thought i would say or do. But i know people have said something about it or been let down about it but its my life so whatever. But yes I drink occasionally now. There is no reason why i really feel ashamed about my choice to drink every now and then. I lived my life for seven years being straight edge/drug free but that life is apart of my past. it wasnt no little phase like you think, it was something I admired and i loved. I will never forget that. People change and its time to move on. Ive been doing other things and right now im happier than ive been in a long time. I just got real tired of being so close minded. I know that drinking can be stupid but at times i enjoy it. Its not like im some wastoid. ill have a drink like once a week. i am responsible and i never have gotten really drunk. i dont drink when i know im driving. If people choose to call me a sellout or whatever, do it i dont care. True till 21 or so they say. I gave in on something i believed so highly against at a point in my life. It sucks i know, but what can i do. i criticized people for giving in and now im one of them but I realized two years ago that being edge was something that I didnt care to be apart of because i knew i was changing and my life was going in another direction than hardcore and straight edge. Well I only have one life to live so im gonna do what i feel is right and if someone is gonna put me down for that then thats fine. Im still here having my own fun living my life and 100% enjoying it. Sorry my beliefs change but fuck im having fun and thats all that matters to me. I respect your beliefs in not drinking. but if you wish to criticize me thats understandable but dont do like i did and not understand where im coming from. people change and do different things.
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| goodbye... |
[25 Jun 2004|08:41am] |
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that is all there is left to be said. if anything that last entry was to make me become a better person. i was tired of the way i was living and i was tired of the way i being treated and the way i was treating others. Even though it was a negative entry, the meaning behind it was the opposite. its changing me to be someone who i want to become someone more positive someone more outgoing, someone who can live a life without being unhappy. anyways goodbye for now.
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| im fucking tired. |
[25 Jun 2004|01:55am] |
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today was a horrible horrible day. Im so fed up with a lot of things that are going on right now and it seriously bumming me out. ive just been in the weirdest/bummiest mood all day. I tried everything to make it better but nope. Work was crappy, skating i was not feeling at all, 80s night sucked. i saw two of my good friends get in a fight over love. I think my package from CLive got stolen. I mean what else could go wrong. im over it. what is going on, I need to change everything about myself. i hate who i am (except skateboarding). im tired of everything else. Im so tired of being stupid about things. Im tired of being shy. if i wasnt shy i wouldnt be single right now. I cant talk to girls and it seriously sucks. Ive met and seen so many attractive girls that i cant say a word to. tonight i wanted to talk to this girl and i couldnt i got scared. that is the stuff im tired of. Im tired of not having the girl i want and it happens all the time. im tired of checking my phone all the time waiting for that call or a callback. im tired of caring so much about stuff. I just honestly want to be one of those dudes who doesnt care at all and just enjoys everything. im tired of stressing. im tired of hating. im tired of being hated. im tired of being lame. im tired of being bored at times. im tired of girls. im tired of being a slacker. i just want to be relaxed at all times but at the same time confident. cause im surely tired of not being confident. im tired of having no self-esteem. I need change i seriously do. i need somethign to happen to me that will make me think different cause i hate it. i hate who i am when im not skateboarding and t here are times when i hate my personality even when im skating. i just hate everything when im not skating literally. cause when im pushing or doing a trick nothing else is in my mind. Im tired of this livejournal. im tired of myself. im 21 and im lame. thank you.
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| haha |
[15 Jun 2004|08:50am] |
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back in shred mode. two more weeks of hell (school) and then im done for the rest of my life. Sunday im writing my last paper ever. The statement "i hate myself when im not skateboarding." is pretty much 100% true because my life is work/school. however the times i spend with my friends makes it rad, but i dont have much time to do that. so in two weeks, i want to be hanging out with all my friends, Ditka, neal, jagger, steph, gab, Brittney, cory/craig, and everyone else and of course my long lost friend, erin. i love you girl. The cure - aug 6th, me and you.
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| lame.. |
[14 Jun 2004|12:45am] |
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being attracted or caring for someone is for the birds. i need to save myself some trouble and just stay away completely. im fucking lame.
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| come out please |
[06 Jun 2004|09:05am] |
the premiere for the skate video is tonight. so if you wish it would be rad to see you there.
Welcome to VB.
Strawbridge Skating Rink. off of general booth and nimmo road, near PA rec.
place opens at 5:30, video starts at 6:30
3 bucks to get in. skate session and hang out
Pat Burke, Neal Wood, Me, Kevin Holroyd, matt Ward, Glenn Newland and some others so come out. its gonna be sick.
what a relief to be showing it tonight.
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| blah. |
[04 Jun 2004|08:20pm] |
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im in one of those shitty depressed moods. i just want to skate but my tweaked ankle and swollen like a grapefruit hip says otherwise. No Dice.
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| .. |
[03 Jun 2004|08:41am] |
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im a scumbag. i need sleep. skating is rad.
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| update |
[25 May 2004|11:43pm] |
-ok so NYC was definitely rad. 5boro is sooo sick, i love it. Dudes are the illest guys out and rip it hard. im psyched on skating for them and just it all in general. Lots of rad things happened and to get to the bottom of it skating is starting to get in more serious. THings are gonna get so good soon im gonna be in heaven. man i love it. NYC is dope, dirty but rad. skating the streets of manhattan is super fun and just the resturants there are the best. ok. the demo was real good. I was a little nervous but i settled in. everyone was stoked on my skating.
-i still really hate school, it bums me out how lame it is.
- i hate everything except skateboarding pretty much. i mean my friends rip but just things need to pick up, nothign is happening.
- girls are lame. yes. i cant find myself being happy with anyone. which ive been used to. but i want something good with a girl right now it would feel real nice.
- i cant wait to travel all summer.
- i got my hands on one of the best radiohead imported cds. and a ester drang cd which is super good. im stoked on jamming to them
- video is gonna be premeiring June 6th at the strawbridge skating rink so if anyone cares to come out check it out it will be super rad. fun time of skating and videos. it starts at 5:30 im sure ill update more abotu it. anyways i hope everyone is doing good. skating is super good everything else needs to pick up.
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| You you can be queen, And I, I can be king. |
[20 May 2004|12:07am] |
Bowie was absolutely amazing. i was so stoked to see him. He still rips the stage at like 57. Played some fantastic tunes - Under Pressure, Ziggy, Little China Girl, and so many others plus HEROES. i was psyched. ill never forget that night.
School sucks, so damn boring both classes are 3 hour powerpoint lectures. I have the slides during the class os im just reading them with the teacher. one class is a teletechnet so i dont even need to pay attention- the kids in the class just hang out and talk with each other and dont pay attention. its no dice.
Im leaving for NYC on saturday morning, going on tour for the weekend with 5boro. should be sick. this is exactly what ive always wanted to do, go on tour with a skate team and just do demos and rip. We have a demo up in Albany then were skating Providence.
work sucks too. all i do is work- school. ahh i cant wait till june 25th all i have to do is pass, then no more school for the rest of my life. yes.
WE CAN BE HEREOS JUST FOR ONE DAY.
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| We Could Be Hereos. |
[16 May 2004|09:33am] |
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DAVID BOWIE tonight, im psyched. found out summer school started last monday and not this monday so i dotn know what to do yet cause the stupid website isnt working. im a little paranoid. i should be alright just stupid that i did that. oh well im out of here.
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| tonight.. |
[13 May 2004|11:30pm] |
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tonight was fun. lots of rad people. won 50 bucks in the best trick contest. i am extremely tired. found out two rad things, i got dumped for an ugly dude and some other beautiful girl that i dig has a boyfriend. even though i already knew that but it is still NO DICE. haha but overall tonight was rad. nuclear winter is super sick. thanks.
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| there is a light and it never goes out... |
[13 May 2004|12:19am] |
ok so brittany tells me to update my journal. i got nothing really to say. the past couple days have been chill i suppose. Work then skate and then hang. Skating has been fun. Im real psyched on this new work schedule, however starting monday i am on a work till 3 class at 5 for that stupid summer school i have to finish. I have all my major courses done why does it have to be necessary to get 120 credits if you got all the stuff you need, oh well. Im just an idiot for being lazy during my sophomore year. I am technically signed up for summer graduation but there is no summer cermony that is why i graduated on saturday. But it doesnt matter all the classes im taking in the summer as long as i pass im straight. I went and saw the movie girl next door, wowsers that girl is beautiful. made me think about girls which is bogus cause i hate thinking about that cause all it does is get me bummed. tonight was fun hung out with jaydog and howard and everyone else and went bowling. I bowled the best ive bowled before, i got 4 strikes in a row i was on a roll ended with a 169. stoked. tomorrow should be fun for the shred fest. im not stoked on my skate part in corys video cause its all crap footage to me. anyways DC this weekend, DAVID BOWIE sunday. next weekend is gonna be amazing 5boro is flying up to NYC, then were driving to Albany and then to Providence, RI. should be sick lots of skating. Oh well im out.
mike
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| done and done. |
[09 May 2004|09:08am] |
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graduated. ceremony was chill not as boring as a lot of them are. Today was one of the raddest days. graduation, hung out with my family and my two best friends. then skated in that hotline contest and got 3rd even though it i shouldnt have gotten that good. It was rigged and some people should of placed and some shouldnt have and some placed to high (like me). OH well i offered my prizes to those who didnt place that i thought should have. but no one took anything. I Won like 300-400 dollars with of prices. payed 15. gave away like 6 shirts, a hoody, and a sick ass pair of electric sunglasses at the party last night. i dont wear glasses but neal wanted them so i hooked him up. but im keeping the shoes, the board, and the wheels that i won to sell so i can make some money for some trips. im keeping a sick ass volcom hat, and a rad volcom button up. Then last night was chill when all my friends came over. It was nice seeing a lot of them. i was psyched. Overall yesterday was amazing i couldnt of asked for anything better. im out. life starts now.
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| Damn right |
[08 May 2004|06:35am] |
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today is my day. after 11am ill be a odu graduate. so psyched. be there or be square tonight. love you all.
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